AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAH -shakes head vigorously-
ARGHHHHHHH
im feeling what's that called. yu noe when u cant sit still it's like HYPER it's like oh ok i got it
RESTLESS!!!!!!!!
burp
haha. i ate 2 oranges just now. and 2 slices of bread spread with condensed milk. hahahha. it's good.
ARGHALEKJ A;WIEFHWA;IOHA;IH;IH HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA HEEHEE GAAHAHAHAHA
i am such an asshole.
so anyway. today was another....uneventful day. yay. hooray. hooray for the mundaneness of my life. hip hip hooray. HEEP HEEP hoooray. i just proved my point. im a SPOILT ASSHOLE. sigh
i think i'm going to do some work later. i can't stand this anymore. sleep wud be good too. i miss training like shit. -...........sobs-
fuck it.
when yu can't think properly right then yu become incoherent
like bleah blah blah bleargh? bloo bla bleh blep bloo bloo?! then everything yu hear also goes blah blah bleaaaaaah blah blah
ONLY THE WEAK MINDED GIVE IN TO FATIGUE!!!! sleep. is good.
posted by :. heroyin. 5:45 AM
//eyes//
//the windows to yur soul.//
the weak spot. where even a stranger can look inside you, and read you. read yur fears, sorrows, love and hate. that is, if they look hard enough.
there is a shield. the last line of defence. it is their own image, on the surface of yur eye. a reflection of themselves. to distract?
when yu smile, yur eyes will sparkle. sparkle so bright they hide the hollowness inside. and right at the end of that hollow tunnel is what yu hide.
there will come a day, when yu can look into someone else's eyes looking right back at yours. there is no need to hide anymore.
yu trust this person as much as s/he trusts yu. and then
s/he will see beyond the sparkle from the broken smile
right through their own image
break right through yur shields
open the windows
into the tunnel
and down to yur soul.
you will be doing the same.
that is the day. that yu will know. yu have found yur soulmate.
i think one day i shall do a short thesis on the nature of human minds with regard to mob behavior. mobs have a mind of their own.
posted by :. heroyin. 2:43 AM
what does it take
for people to see
that each and everyone of us
is special?
we don't need
to prove it
or say it
or show it
it just is.
posted by :. heroyin. 2:31 AM
Friday, April 25, 2003
ahhahahaa shit i dunno why it can't show properly!! grrrr nvm next time i send yu!! hahahaah :)
//There was a harsh time in Hongkong when society was divided into two distinct classes -- the rich and the poor. This was during the economic depression after world war II, the late 1940s to 50s, and every country was divided into its societal hierachies according to affluence. Hongkong was no exception. Economic prosperity meant everything - materialistic wealth, respect, and most of all - power. power over the poor, that is. It was from this that one could see the ugliest sides of human nature. In this dog eat dog era, greed and selfishness were rampant. People were tired of the hardships from war and were more than ready to safeguard their own well being. If you were poor, you had nothing, plus nothing, times nothing, divided by nothing. Worst of all, you could do nothing about it. Too bad. Lucky for me, I was the son of a rather well-off businessman, a budding entrepreneur in the jade market.
what the hell. the plus times divide thing is quite lame. i'll see about that later. i can't BEAR to end this off with the //. i barely started and now i'm too tired to think. haha.
posted by :. heroyin. 1:38 AM
hahaah. hey teeng. i drew this just now. nice?
posted by :. heroyin. 6:11 AM
hiiiiiii
so today
i went to sch
shat around.
hahahaha. SHAT HAHAHAHAHAHA.
yea so i shat around.
so first
we had. the hist teacher coming in to scold us about the tardiness of our work. :(
then
what lesson was it? uhhhhhh...... chem! ya. learning about electrolytic cells.
then it was.... math. yay! during math i was already doing my bio ws.
then after that was an eng test so no time to do hw
so test test test
den after that was ss
so i did more work. i finished chem and bio hw! hahaha YAY with help from the girl that sits next to me. hahaha.
den.
uhh. well.
had a math test
test test test
then shat around.
then shat around doing chem prelim papers. w/o answers. so like what's the point i can't even check my answers. grah.
then.
shat around again.
then went hooooome.
read richard feynman! yay he's good
posted by :. heroyin. 6:02 AM
there's a certain simplicity about most people's childhood. though this is not perceived when one is in that particular age group. hurhurhur.
the same way our lives are now. there probably is a one-word adjective for it. angst? adrift? aimless? aiming? pursuing? hahaha.
i believe being in a particular situation (aka coming of age in this particular context) warps yur perception of what it truly is/was. maybe it's the emotions involved.
from another point of view, maybe it is when yu're viewing it as a past event that it is warped? just maybe, yu unconsciously cloud yur own perception of the past. to make it as if.. the grass was always greener on that other side.
i hope that one day
i'll be wise enough
to answer my own questions
after i've lived through
the many odd periods of life.
posted by :. heroyin. 3:38 AM
you are the sunshine i come home to.
posted by :. heroyin. 3:31 AM
Thursday, April 24, 2003
hi teeng i just got home. am reading my old autograph book now.
look at what i wrote to myself:
"hiez everyone!! [in big and bold letters with flowers and hearts bordering] GUESSSS WHAT! THIS IS YINGITY Here! in year.... 1999. 12 years old. Primary 6... (Look.. i'm writing all these so that when i grow up, i can remember who i am ok??) well.. i was in primary 6 GEP in..RGPS!"
omg. i'm quite happy. i think i used to be quite happy.
continued:
"HEY HEY... SO.... just write wateva ya want in this book kay? hehehe.... BWAHAHHAHAHA... SO anyway Everyone.. say HI!!! bwaha... ok ok ok... life's quite good for me... SMILE ON GUYS!!!!!"
and then i filled one whole page with my own signatures -_-
and then.
"I LOVE ME!!! me also known as...... yingity, ying, shan, yingity shangerita, vj ying, yingshann, shanny, yingy, BLAYHH... wateva you can think of... BUAIZ PEOPLEZ!!! school has come to an end boohoo..."
omg. i think i was really one ego freak.
and so most of the rest of the book was filled with nice stuff people write about themselves and me.
yes. the wonderful memories OF 4 FREAKING YEARS AGO!!!! OMGGGGGG I'M GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OF ENLIGHTENMENT
it's been 4 long years.
4. long. years.
posted by :. heroyin. 2:48 AM
\\it's been seven days since he's been gone.
peacefully passed away. the floods of people that turned up at the funeral the first few days have simmered down to irregular unpredictable streams.
i don't recognise most of their faces. black, white, yellow strangers.
he must have played a part in all their lives. a good boss, colleague, friend. sometimes, it takes death to trigger memories. it's only then that people realise they should have treasured. should have put in the effort to drop by and say hello, or even make a phone call just to catch up with each other. too late. people always only realise too late.
it's been a long seven days. a week. it's funny how precise this language is. a week sounds so succinct and short. like a fleet of time. yet, in reality, time warps and flows with its own life, it's own unrhythmic heartbeat. a minute can feel like a year; a week a minute. so much has happened. grandpa isaac had died of heart failure complications. it seemed so recent that he was still lighting up the dinner table with his funny antics, giving the kids a helping hand with their homework, teaching them to play baseball... so recent that he was still...alive. it's as if those happy times were only yesterday. has it really been two long weeks since he was admitted to the ICU?
I believe that even i myself am guilty of taking the people around me for granted.
maybe because it really is hard to imagine someone leaving your side forever. forever's such a long time. endlessly.
i never found the pain after losing easy to deal with. such a long time ago, i had lost a young chick i let out in the garden to a scavenging cat. i cried for weeks. i've never had any weak animals as pets since then. only big, strong dogs that give me a sense of security. no men either. men are stinky disloyal rats. never could trust them. well, except for grandpa isaac.. he was the one and only gentleman in my life. \\
ok gonna continue writing this story another time. eugh.
posted by :. heroyin. 7:26 AM
run
running all the time
running to the future
with yu right by my side
me
i'm the one yu chose
out of all the people
yu wanted me the most
and i'm so sorry that i'm fallin
help me up let's keep on runnin
don't let me fall out of love
>.running running
as fast as we can
do yu think we'll make it
we're running
keep holding my hand
so we don't get separated.
posted by :. heroyin. 4:31 AM
things will only matter to yu if yu make them.
running running keep holding my hand so we won't get separated
posted by :. heroyin. 4:15 AM
Monday, April 21, 2003
hi
i just read
some blogs/diaries/smeared thoughts(literally. like bweaaargh and it's all down) of my friends.
i think i don't even know them skin deep.
and that scares me.
i don't think i know anyone skin deep. let's not talk about bone-deep and heart-deep.
i think it really depends on
just who yu want to let into yur own world. and if they wud let yu into their worlds.
as one hand cannot clap alone, it's pointless to headbutt into a wall. hahaa.
it's nice to have
two sheep
on a field that extends in all directions beyond the horizon
the blue sky
and nothing else.
no other sheep.
just themselves. in their own world.
i imagine that two lives intertwined would look something like
a dna strand.
with the two helic whatever yu call them linked by their bases
and twirledddddddd togetherrrrrrrr joined by hydrogen bondsssssssss
:)
just beautiful.
posted by :. heroyin. 3:45 AM
i believe in good grammar.
i believe in using proper tenses.
i believe i have to improve my goddamn english.
i believe i have to improve my chinese, geog, hist, ss, a math, e math, phys, chem, bio too.
not to mention, PE.
oh. i almost forgot. ACE and assembly. too. hahahahaha.
posted by :. heroyin. 4:18 AM
Sunday, April 20, 2003
hi HIIIIII -flutters eyelids-
gheeheheehehehee -smileees-
anyway
today was a farked day.
haahhaahhaaha.
ok first
i got back 2 shit geog tests.
i did really badly.
sigh.
and then
i had to stay back to do chaos?! arghhhhhhhhh sigh........... i dunno la. hahahaahhaah.UH OK it wasnt THAT bad hahahahaha. it's ok!!! :)
shit tomorrow's yet another tedious long day. i can just imagine it. as long as a 29385723984732 metre long ruler.
i still can't go out. bound by the bars of sars.
ARGH!!!
//
"kiss me...kiss me......" he whispered into my ear as i held him tightly in my arms. i was shaken to the bone.
i didn't know cats could talk."
//
hahahahaa.
so today was another magnificent day! i'm alive! and so are you! we should be happy.
posted by :. heroyin. 4:17 AM
the sandman
sandman sandman
bless me with the sweetest dreams
so that i may live through these horror nights
and forget my horror days
sandman sandman
in my bed
i will be waiting
for my sweetest dreams
my sweetest dreams.
sandman sandman
i awoke this morning
heavy on breath
damp with sweat
you gave me
nothing better than
the nightmares i live everyday
what happened to your sweet lullaby promises?
sandman sandman
tonight i will lay down again
and pray
for my sweetest dreams
my sweetest dreams.
posted by :. heroyin. 3:56 AM
actually
i feel like going out to get some sunshine to brighten up my life.
however.
this is not an option.
due to my mum's paranoia over sars.
therefore.
i will just have to.
eat honey.
to sweeten up.
whatever's left of my.
life.
it's going to take more than tomorrow to make me live through today.
posted by :. heroyin. 12:40 AM
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
sighhhhh
today i'm
15 yrs and 6 mnths old. yay.
not like it feels any better to be older.
sigh
posted by :. heroyin. 12:38 AM
hello.
yinshan needs help.
posted by :. heroyin. 12:32 AM
baby won't yu tell me why there is sadness in yur eyes.
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